Phil Fuhrman on The Reagan Years

So you want to know about Watergate? If your original thought is that Watergate was gate with water, you my friend are wrong. Watergate is from a latin based route watergaitermeaning to shine. After several decades of a magnified presence, not presents, the english took over latin based words and chanced the definition of Watergate to a scandal in which Nixon fucked some shit up. Word perfect doesn’t recognize the word “fucked..” Fuck you word perfect. But it recognize the word fuck. This is fucked up.

Anyway, in 1608 Nixon sailed the ocean blue. It was the indian ocean, which no one gives a fuck about. He reached america and settled with the Native Americans, you know injuns. After assisting in the battle against Custer(whose last name should have been custard, that sounds amazing right now) as an injun, Nixon quickly became a professional bow and arrow user. Later Nixon would comment that “he cheated in professional archery. After a ten dollar fine, he became in debt, which forced him into getting some extra cash on the side during the Watergate scandel. This scandal was dynomite and should never be forgotten about.

Spell check complete bitch.

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This has been a guest commentary by Phil Fuhrman. Not only are we responsible for the opinions of this commentary, we will take it personally if you disagree.