Kansas

Kansas was formed from a rough amalgam of what we historians call "redneck villages" made up of various white trash who migrated from the great Spanish Peninsula in the Year of our Lord 1672. The wonderful thing about it is that it is too tremendous for words. Oh, lord, they did have themselves some fighting. That's what we call a "Civil War." But we are not here for that.

Kansas FAST FACTS:

- Kansas is named for Edward K. Murrow. The K stands for Kansas. The naming of the state was quite fortuitous for the young Mr. Murrow who, at the age of 21, had not done shit with his life. He had certainly not done anything that warranted naming a state after him. Even a shitty state, like Kansas. But anyway, Murrow then launched a campaign for "Grand Wizard" (Kansan for "Governor"). His slogan was, "'K' Stands for Kansas." He defeated a young Bob T Dole, who ran on the ill-fated slogan, "The 'T' Doesn't Stand for Anything. It's just an initial." He failed to see the additional level of meaning in the first slogan. My God!

- State Bird: Egyptian Sea Muskrat
- State Island: Madagascar
- State Palindrome: Racecar
- Back-Up State Palindrome (In case first one is sick or dies): INDY 500!
- Fuckers.
- State Drug: Corn
- State Slogan: "We Know You're Just Passing Through on Your Way to Colorado, but Please Don't Litter."
- State Line: 4-1
- State Season: Wabbit Season. Duck Season. Wabbit Season. Duck Season.

Kansas formally disbanded in 1978, having released several hit singles and having persecuted the homosexuals for quite a long time. Bang up job, guys.

It hits me for a moment and then it's gone.