Magic Eight Balls (A Guest Commentary by TKO)

so there's this thing called the magic eight ball.
Yesterday, I asked it if I would win at the rubik's cube. it said,"not likely."

Guess what. I win at life.
I CAN do the rubik's cube, and I can totally do it within 2.5 minutes while inebriated/intoxicated.

Therefore, all magic eight balls are faulty.
Do NOT trust them.
and I just said 'balls'
ha.

Brett appreciates basically everything about this post.


So, do you want to know what happened to me today????
Of course you do.
Wait, I have to remember.
um....
shit..
I went to class, and almost cried (a lie), and then I went to LUCY'S chinese place (where I always feel like a poser, because the people who serve me are WHITE and NOT CHINESE) and got some sweet 'n' sour chicken (mediocre at best), and then I took a quiz in marketing and maybe pulled a CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC on it, and then I went home and wasted away, probably looking up things on wikipedia, like... hmmmm... let's not talk about that. And then I wove shit, and then I won a house, and then I checked my ELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY, and then I won a house, and then we hung out right in front of a house of people we don't know or care about, and we probaly would have told them to fuck off, had they come out to say, "get off our fucking property, bitches," and someone would have said, " I'm the JUGGERNAUT, BITCHES," and it would have been FUCKING FANTASTIC, and then I think someone would have lost an eye.... oh not, that's just awful, because I think it might have been me, because tim keeps talking about how he wants me to die in a fire, and that's TOTALLY not cool. I think that's just shit. SOKMEHTING about jobs.

I don't want to make pizza anymore. LONG STORY SHORT, WE DECIDED TO GET DRUNK TO CELEBRATE OUR HOUSE WINNING, WE DANCED TO THE DISMEMBERMENT PLAN.

Also, Brett is not afraid of heroin. Fancy that. DON't DIE, freakazoids!!!! YARG, I should become a fucking pirate. You know you agree, and I would steal ALLLLL of your rum and shpellllll evrithinnnnnnnnnng rongggggggg.