whatever i want (part premier)

ok, so this bitch is totally out of control, amd they are all going to buy it. i can't even imagine how it looks like there are actually words here. i can't see them.

anyway, he gets to go to the largest putt putt golf course in the world, which sounds fun, and i bet it cosrts more than 2 dollars

freaks of thr world unite! subtlity is brilliant. it brings them in and then they are like, WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!??! everytime. that bitch is run dry.

i couldn't play poker, because i like to say fuck and they'd make me take a time out.

everyone dies, daddy. (movie)

that's a QUOTE.

this is an introduction to the various stimuli that are fucking with me, and thus ther meta project is my response. i mean, this is both stimulus and response, which is affraid. i take in the stimulation, and then inscribe it (response), and yet the inscription is stimulation. i'm stimulated. but not aroused.

ok, the epic is on pause, like i do with my ipod. and goddamn it i'm missing what's happening on south park! but i mean, they all look weird with three eyes and shit. but what shit. i am comfused. did they make south park 3d all of a sudden? fuck, i hope not. that's fucked up.

and what's with this goddamn baby?

to be continued...

back up offa me

seriously, all these ho's need to back up off me.

radio, suckaz never play me 'cause i don't let 'em / they like a pimp, only ho's sweat 'em

the second coming

the second coming is symbolic. i listen to the jesus pastors on the jesus channel all jesus day, and i even ordered jesus holy spring water. you know it's authentic, because it has jesus in the name.

anyway, we are all in world war 3, and the only way to stop it is to pray. it's important to pray, because that way god knows how poor you are, and he needs that shit for his census. if he didn't have the census, then he wouldn't be god. that's how jesus works.

bobby ogata, 22, frog-man.

Summer In Review '06

This summer began with much promise. Actually, no it didn't. It sucked from start to finish. Nothing happened. It was hot. People complained. It was unpleasant.

Additionally, there was no tripping to be had. That was disappointing.

But remember that time I got to play piano on stage with Billy Joel? Me neither, but if anyone asks, say that happened so I can pretend I did something this summer. You will also have to pretend I know how to play the piano. And that I would be at a Billy Joel concert.

I borrowed a movie but I don't want to watch it.

The end.

Baseball (Part One of Many)

The Cubs should trade Greg Maddux to the New York Yankees as quickly as they possibly can. I mean, literally, they should dial the Yankees and accept nearly anything they Yankees are willing to put on a bus and send to Chicago. Bernie Williams's ancient ass? Sure. Jaret Wright's pathetic piece of shit arm? Fucking take it. Here's why:

Greg Maddux is a total waste in the postseason. He's 3-7 since 1997. Most of his wins came in the early 90s, before he looked like your fat uncle.

["But dude, the Braves just suck dick in the playoffs. They're the Buffalo Bills." Shut up, dipshit. John Smoltz is the shit in the playoffs because he's a power pitcher, and if he catches too much of the plate he can still get you out. 15-4, 2.66 ERA with 194 Ks in 206 IP. Bam.]

In the postseason, power pitching is better than finesse pitching. That's because all the teams are good--they made the playoffs. Because they're better they have better and more consistent hitting and pitch selection. Therefore, the pitches themselves have to be more difficult to hit. Also, umpires tend to call somewhat tighter strikezones in the postseason. But Maddux is known for his control rather than his stuff:

"Greg Maddux could put a baseball through a life saver if you asked him!" - Joe Morgan

But if the lifesaver is in the middle of the plate, and the baseball is travelling at 85 miles per hour, the ball will not reach the lifesaver, as it will have been put into play.

Think how badly the Yankees will crash and burn in the playoffs ANYWAY, let alone with Greg Maddux throwing batting practice to the White Sox.

The funny thing is that the Cubs won't even have to try to piss off the Yankees.

Cano for Maddux? That sounds very fair.