social encounters (fine prizes!!!)

there will be no fine prizes given away with this post. that is for sure, you ass.

social encounters are simply the alignment of various intersections of power in multiple subjects, combining individual social nodes into complex molecules within the social body.

well, that about wraps it up for parties.

Pop-Quiz: A Meta-Analysis

- High, I am slightly more conservative, both economically and socially. Huh?

- High, I am Liberal, Outgoing and Adventurous. Sober I'm Liberal, Outgoing and Stylish.

- High, I like girls who are Practical, Adventurous and Athletic (Ed. note: that last one is bullshit. I know why it says that. It's because on the "I'm attracted to girls who are ____________." There isn't a "hot" option. The closest thing is "athletic and fit." But ladies, that's not true.

I'm less nurturing than a desert.

Sober, I like girls who are Practical, Shy and Funny (Ed note: no, I don't).

- High, I'm a Unitarian. Gross. But still not Lutheran! SCORE!

Mathematics

The first rule of this post is that you must put all your preconceived notions about math out of your mind. They are merely half-truths.

Rule 2: 24053 = 2453

Erase the zero. Zero isn't anything. It's literally nothing. Fuck that.

Rule 3: No more commercials.

Rule 4: Non-euclidean geometry is where it's at. I want to get a PhD in non-euclidean geometry. I am amazing at thinking out of the box.

See?

O-usisdeasd the box.

Kyle Petty

Kyle Petty is a worthless sack of shit. Stop trying to sell people a 3D poster of yourself, assface. Fuck off.

Pop Quiz (Part 1.5)

You are a Social Liberal (80% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (15% permissive) You are best described as a: Socialist Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

You matched the following traits:

Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate.
Outgoing - You can liven up any party. You've got a way with people and have little difficulty charming your dates.
Adventurous - Just sitting around the house is not something that appeals to you. You love to be out trying new things and really experiencing life.

You match with women who have following traits:

Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.
Adventurous - You are looking for someone who is willing to try new things and experience life to its fullest. You need a companion who encourages you to take risks and do exciting things.
Athletic - You aren't looking for a couch potato. You seek someone who is active and who keeps her body in top shape.

Your Top Ten Traits, Ranked
1. Liberal
2. Outgoing
3. Adventurous
4. Intellectual
5. Sensual
6. Wealthy/Ambitious
7. Practical
8. Big-Hearted
9. Athletic
10. Traditional

Your Top Ten Match Traits, Ranked
1. Practical
2. Adventurous
3. Athletic
4. Funny
5. Intellectual
6. Outgoing
7. Traditional
8. Wealthy/Ambitious
9. Conservative
10. Big-Hearted

1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (94%)
3. Nontheist (94%)
4. Secular Humanism (94%)
5. Liberal Quakers (79%)
6. Bahá'í Faith (76%)
7. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (76%)
8. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (76%)
9. Jehovah's Witness (76%)
10. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (51%)
11. Theravada Buddhism (41%)
12. Neo-Pagan (30%)
13. New Thought (25%)
14. Taoism (12%)
15. Eastern Orthodox (0%)
16. Hinduism (0%)
17. Islam (0%)
18. Jainism (0%)
19. Mahayana Buddhism (0%)
20. New Age (0%)
21. Orthodox Judaism (0%)
22. Orthodox Quaker (0%)
23. Reform Judaism (0%)
24. Roman Catholic (0%)
25. Scientology (0%)
26. Seventh Day Adventist (0%)
27. Sikhism (0%)

At least I'm not a Lutheran.

Ice Hockey

Ice Hockey is a game of constant geometry. Constant, mobile geometry. Baseball is a game of statistics. I am calculon. Thank you.

pop quiz (part 2)

it is _________ when people chew their gum.
a) annoying
b) cool

it is ___________ when people take up the whole sidewalk like they fucking built the place.
a) annoying
b)cool

oil shocks are ________.
a)annoying
b)cool




ANS: if you answer b to any of these, you are a shit-handed bitch.

Pop Quiz (Part 1)

Sober results (inebriated results to follow at my leisure):

You are a Social Liberal (88% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (13% permissive) You are best described as a: Socialist Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Dumb dating quiz:

Your date match profile:
Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.
Shy - You are put off by people who are open books. You are drawn to someone who is a bit more mysterious. You want to draw her out of her shell and get to know what she is all about.
Funny - You consider a good sense of humor a major necessity in a date. If her jokes make you laugh, she has won your heart.

Your dating personality profile:
Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate.
Outgoing - You can liven up any party. You've got a way with people and have little difficulty charming your dates.
Stylish - You do not lack for fashion sense. (Editor's note: I do indeed lack for fashion sense.) Style matters. You wouldn't want to be seen with someone who doesn't care about her appearance.

Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions

Dumb religion quiz (http://beliefnet.com/story/76/story_7665_1.html):

1. Secular Humanism (100%)
2. Unitarian Universalism (96%)
3. Nontheist (85%)
4. Liberal Quakers (81%)
5. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (79%)
6. Theravada Buddhism (65%)
7. Neo-Pagan (58%)
8. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (47%)
9. Taoism (43%)
10. Reform Judaism (43%)
11. Bahá'í Faith (41%)
12. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (41%)
13. New Age (39%)
14. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (35%)
15. Jehovah's Witness (32%)
16. New Thought (32%)
17. Orthodox Quaker (31%)
18. Sikhism (31%)
19. Mahayana Buddhism (30%)
20. Scientology (27%)
21. Seventh Day Adventist (24%)
22. Hinduism (20%)
23. Jainism (18%)
24. Eastern Orthodox (17%)
25. Islam (17%)
26. Orthodox Judaism (17%)
27. Roman Catholic (17%)

Hank Blaylock

i don't know why there are so many rules. you know? it's like, chill out, playa.

i'm just dealin' in ho money, you know. ho money's slow money but it's sho' money, you know?

anyway, i think it's about time that someone made it clear to hank blaylock that we are tired of taking his pansy ass, bush league bullshit. blaylock, you're a worthless, miserable pile of shit that isn't even living up to its potential as shit. if you don't start picking up the pace, you're done. i'll see to it you never play ball for any team this side of the atlantic. try me, motherfucker.

How to Make a Really Kickass Centerpiece

Step number a: you got to get you some flowers.

Step number 3: you got to be able to weave

Step 3: Fuck you guys, you suck at this. I'm leaving.

(Dub.)

Firetrucks

Did you know that a firetruck has a special device on it that allows it to change traffic signals? that is why you never see them on the highway with their sirens on, only cops and ambulances. yet, they are at every accident scene and everything. actually, that is because the government is using them to test a new teleportation system. which makes you wonder why they need the traffic signal device. oh, the insidious mysteries of the government's secert plots!

The Worst Thing Possible to Put on a Resume

"Runner-up, episode of Comedy Central's 'Distraction'."

Doing Your Taxes

Taxes are how the man finances his evil doings. You should not pay taxes.*

*Bad advice.

Here is how you really do your taxes if you're not a Communist (Communists are exempt, and extinct. Ho Chi Mihn?)

No, son. No, that is not how it goes. We don't love them hoe's, I'm out the do'. And I'll be rolling down the street smokin' endo, sippin on gin and juice.

Ha ha ha.

Stop Blaming Chris Webber

Think about that play. Picture it in your head. Chris Webber has NO OTHER OPTION. Think about it. There are 3 options:

1: Call timeout (this is what he did, they had no timeouts, costs them the game)
2: Just stand there and get a 5 second call (turnover)
3: Try to pass, get either
A: jump ball (turnover)
B: pass (gets stolen)

That's just good defense. Defense wins Super Bowls.

End of argument.

How to Watch Two Boring-Ass Basketball Games Where All Hope Was Shattered? (A Question.)

Seriously, the funniest thing I've ever heard is:

"Could you please remove your poster of Magic Johnson." (It was a picture of George Foreman.) HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Oh great holy jesus christ.

Gorbechov is an incorrect spelling, but he WILL BURY YOU>

))))?????>>>>>>>>>>Hear.

Hearing? Hereing. Same THING>

!!!@!!!