the polarization of light (second lecture in the Bunson Series on the Properties and Effects of Light)

i'll tell you what i am going to tell you. and that is what i am going to tell you. i'll tell you that. YOU KNOW!

ok, so now that that is over, i think we should all stop and think about something. think. done. ok, what was your thought? share it with someone around you.

ok, phase two: eating. shall it happen? there is iggy pop! oh, he has eaten my food.

now we go back to the previous, that which is unknown.

Telling People a Thing or Two

You're one of the good ones, you know that? One of the few good ones. And still, not.

You know what I am saying to you? ****!?

For real, I meant that shit. Homo*.



*This slur is unacceptable, and I should be disbarred, for breaking doctor-patient-client-attorney-bookie priveledge. You can't spoll privelege incorrectly without "edge."

Believe that shit.

A (regular 'A,' not plus or minus, you bitch.)

I am killin' em out there, they needin' first aid,
'Cause the boy got more 6s than first grade.

Nuclear War

Getting high and listening to Kid A is like watching a kickass science fiction movie in your mind.

Why It's All Fucking Cold

I think it's cold fronts. [Slur]. But seriously, it is fucking cold as a godamn motherfucker outside and i am angry about it. I want to go home and watch apollo 13, because it reveals all the secrets of life, like how to be all kickass and go to the moon. Ron howard!

A+

State of the Inebriated Guide (Volume 2 [I think the first one is called "Part 1," not "Volume 1," but get the fuck off my back])

S-Dot.
Ghost writer.
And for the right price,
I can even make your shit tighter.

One time last year, I was high as balls in my stupid dorm, and the fucking fire alarm went off. So I had to wander around and avoid what I thought was a real fire, and it was not fun. That is when I coined the phrase, "buzzkill," to describe my experience. And that is how our nation got it's latin motto, "E plurubus unum," which means, "Buzzkill," only in Hebrew. Read it backwards.

I say a BIG verse, I'm only biggin' up my brother.
Big enough to do it.

Booyah. We kick ass.

A+.

Why the Sky is Blue (the first legitimate guide)

different frequencies of light exhibit different behaviors in similiar environments. for instance, molecules which are smaller than the wavelengths in the visible spectrum (700nm) will have a scattering effect on the particles of light. however, the amount of acattering at a given frequency (400nm-700nm) is approximately 1/λ^4, which means that if you double the wavelength, you decrease the scattering effect 16 times. so, blue and violet light at the bottom of the spectrum scatter almost 16 time more efficently than red and orange light at the top of the spectrum. since more blue light is scattered, blue light reaches our eyes, thus the sky appears to be blue.

this also explains why sunsets are red and orange. because the light travels through a lot more atmosphere, the red and orange light is scattered by the time it reaches our eyes, and thus we see the sky as orange.

but seriously, get a life.

Magic Eight Balls (A Guest Commentary by TKO)

so there's this thing called the magic eight ball.
Yesterday, I asked it if I would win at the rubik's cube. it said,"not likely."

Guess what. I win at life.
I CAN do the rubik's cube, and I can totally do it within 2.5 minutes while inebriated/intoxicated.

Therefore, all magic eight balls are faulty.
Do NOT trust them.
and I just said 'balls'
ha.

Brett appreciates basically everything about this post.


So, do you want to know what happened to me today????
Of course you do.
Wait, I have to remember.
um....
shit..
I went to class, and almost cried (a lie), and then I went to LUCY'S chinese place (where I always feel like a poser, because the people who serve me are WHITE and NOT CHINESE) and got some sweet 'n' sour chicken (mediocre at best), and then I took a quiz in marketing and maybe pulled a CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC on it, and then I went home and wasted away, probably looking up things on wikipedia, like... hmmmm... let's not talk about that. And then I wove shit, and then I won a house, and then I checked my ELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY, and then I won a house, and then we hung out right in front of a house of people we don't know or care about, and we probaly would have told them to fuck off, had they come out to say, "get off our fucking property, bitches," and someone would have said, " I'm the JUGGERNAUT, BITCHES," and it would have been FUCKING FANTASTIC, and then I think someone would have lost an eye.... oh not, that's just awful, because I think it might have been me, because tim keeps talking about how he wants me to die in a fire, and that's TOTALLY not cool. I think that's just shit. SOKMEHTING about jobs.

I don't want to make pizza anymore. LONG STORY SHORT, WE DECIDED TO GET DRUNK TO CELEBRATE OUR HOUSE WINNING, WE DANCED TO THE DISMEMBERMENT PLAN.

Also, Brett is not afraid of heroin. Fancy that. DON't DIE, freakazoids!!!! YARG, I should become a fucking pirate. You know you agree, and I would steal ALLLLL of your rum and shpellllll evrithinnnnnnnnnng rongggggggg.

bundes and aardvark

they are slang terms, for the future. our children will use them. no, not our children, our children.

bundes - adj. derogatory, of the state, oppressive. ex. Man, that was bundes.
aardvark - adj. for stuff that ended up being way longer than it needed to be. ex. man, that was aardvark.

go in peace, my bitches.

Assessing Life Goals

It's important to set goals for yourself. For instance, I set the following goals for the last year:

- Ignore chronic pain in right elbow, assume it will go away on its own. (Check)

- Continue to put everything off until the last minute, continue to get away with it. (Check)

- Do really scary, hard drugs. (Unfortunately, didn't get around to it.)

- Pretend I have goals for my life. (Checkmate.)

On second thought, people who make physical lists of goals are stupid. If they really had goals, they wouldn't have time to make lists of stuff. Fuck those people.

The end. TV.